(no subject)

[dontjudgeabook]

It's October already, and he still hasn't managed to exchange more than awkward smiles and pleasantries with Abbie. Last time he'd worked up the nerve to strike up a conversation in the faculty lounge, he'd spilled creamer all over his sweater.

It's not even that she doesn't seem perfectly nice, or that she gives off an intimidating vibe, or anything like that, just that she's so pretty, and anyway, Jason the hot English teacher is always hanging around her with his muscles bulging out of his shirt and Dallin can't compete with that.

Today's the day, though. He's going to do it. He's brought a lunch that can be eaten without looking dorky and he's going to sit with her and have an actual conversation. He slips into the lounge on his break and starts making himself a cup of tea, careful with the creamer this time, giving her a small tight smile like he always does.

Comments

[dontjudgeabook]

"Yeah, but the Klingons could be negotiated with. You can't do that with the Borg." Dallin would be rather impressed by a woman who could speak Klingon, not having that ability himself.

He's excited to have found something in common, glad for the ease of the conversation, until she calls him on his avoidance, and the smile slips from his face. There's that blush she was hoping to provoke earlier, a reddening at the back of his neck and the tips of his too-prominent ears, though it's not in as pleasant a context as she was imagining.

He just isn't sure how to explain why he'd been so nervous to talk to her, because there really is no easy or dignified way to say 'because I know I'm terrible at first impressions and wanted to practice before I made one on you.'

"Well," he says, pausing as he fumbles for words, "if I'd known you weren't into all of Jason's sonnets..." He would have stepped in to rescue her sooner, or likes to think he would, anyway, but she had often seemed busy.

[thislastrequest]

"I suppose that's a very good point. In any case, though, I wouldn't want to take either of them on. I mean, I'm apparently not good with dealing with unwanted advances, so ... yeah."

Really, she hadn't meant for the conversation to turn the way it had, and she certainly didn't mean to make the comment sound as though she was placing the blame squarely on Dallin's shoulders. She could have taken the initiative to sit and speak to him, too, and she just ... never had. Not because she didn't want to! Things just sort of ... get in the way, and more often than not, these days, at least, she spends more time in her office than anywhere else.

The truth is rarely pretty, but if it was the truth, she would have appreciated it.

"Ah. Well. Now you know that I am not into Captain Biceps. But, more than that it's totally okay to say hello whenever you'd like. I don't bite."

Hard. But then, that was a conversation for another time. Maybe.

[dontjudgeabook]

It isn't that he'd agonized over it, only that on the occasions when there had been an opportunity to go beyond polite small talk, he'd always just told himself he'd be ready for it next time--and then next time Jason would be hovering around, or else he'd spill something on himself, or some other minor catastrophe. It just doesn't take much to discourage Dallin from social interaction.

He's regretting that now, but chastened though he is, he can't help a snort of laughter at 'Captain Biceps.' "We actually call him Percy Smelley in the science department, because of that cologne he always showers in," he says, with a conspiratorial sort of smile. "Anyway. I'll...be more talkative in the future, I guess." Dallin wouldn't mind a bit of biting, not at all, but yes, that's a discussion best saved for much later.

[thislastrequest]

That's understandable, though. Abbie's had those moments of readiness and then, inevitably, life happened, and the moment was lost forever. At least in their case, there was always a new day, and always a new chance to ... say hello.

Laughing is a good thing, though, and her smile widens all the further, happy to have amused him at least a little. "Ooh, that's a good one. I might have to come hang out in the science department more often. That cologne really is wretched, isn't it? I don't know what I'm going to do when it gets too cold to open a window to air out after he leaves."

She huffs out a breath, the ghost of a chuckle, and nods her agreement. "I wouldn't mind it, really. Just no sonnets, alright? I've heard enough of them to last me a lifetime."

[dontjudgeabook]

"It really is," he says, as if the one bottle of cologne that he owns isn't just as noxious. He rarely wears it, though, so he still has some room to judge.

"No sonnets. I wouldn't know a sonnet if it bit me." Possibly not the best thing to admit to a former librarian, which he realizes belatedly, but whoops. "But maybe if you come hang out down in the science department more often, you can help us brush up on the classics." Was that a good save? He'd like to think it was. And he would also like her to come chill in the science wing every now and again; that would be nice.

[thislastrequest]

A little certainly went a long way, which is something that the good Cap'n hasn't yet learned, as he always smells as though he's bathed in that particular scent. It's enough to give a person a migraine.

She chuckles, a bit louder this time. "Not familiar with how do I love thee, let me count the ways? That's alright - they're not for everyone." Please, like she's going to judge - she'd never been naturally inclined toward science or math, either, and had to work hard to get good grades. Now that she's not taking any classes, she might actually have fun if she did actually find her way to the science department. "Of course. But what will you teach me in return? I'm no scientist, after all."

[dontjudgeabook]

"Is that a sonnet? I learned something new today." Just don't ask him who wrote it. He'll think it's Shakespeare.

The prospect of a little exchange of knowledge, that's exciting. Of course, he has no idea where to start (and his brain, stubbornly and unwelcomely, is insisting on thinking of naughty connotations to that request, but he can keep that to himself.) "Well, I don't want to brag, but I draw a mean diagram of the Krebs cycle. It's pretty hot."

[thislastrequest]

Right, and right again, although she won't continue with the recitation, not wanting to sound like the good Cap'n. However, she does enjoy the getting to know you thing that they've finally branched out into.

Honestly, she likes the idea of a little bit of learning give and take, although she's not a teacher, like Dallin is. Still, she could probably share a tidbit or two that he might not know, and it could be ... fun.

(The naughtiness might come once they know each other better, and they begin finding where their boundaries began and ended - truthfully, though, she doesn't mind a bawdy joke every now and then.)

"I have no idea what what even means, but it sounds pretty sexy ... "

[dontjudgeabook]

"Definitely. Oxidative phosphorylation all night long, baby." He looks as though he regrets that as soon as it's out of his mouth. Dallin's religious upbringing has made him a bit more cautious about naughty-joke boundary issues than most, though being teased for prudishness throughout college had made him uncertain of that, and now it's a bit of a balancing act.

"So, yeah, just swing by my classroom with some books some time and I'll bust out the whiteboard...you know where it is?" The science wing has a few different labs, but it's not very hard to find.

[thislastrequest]

There's no need to regret it, and hopefully Abbie's pleased little giggle is enough proof of that. She doesn't need Shakespeare to impress her. Apparently, she just needs a little science talk. And, yeah, when one is speaking to someone new, it takes time to find out where those boundaries lied, but, truthfully, when friendship is established, she's pretty open to just about anything. It comes from having two brothers - nothing was ever off limits. "Ooh, all those ... syllables."

No, it's not hard to find at all, and she'd been given a rather thorough tour before she'd started. She knows where his classroom is. "I do, yeah. It's a date!"

[dontjudgeabook]

"There's more syllables where that came from," he says, emboldened by her amusement. He's got an older brother too, who's always been better at this kind of thing--Spencer always seems to know how to come off as sincere and friendly instead of awkward, always knows where the boundaries of good taste are and charms people without ever accidentally crossing them. But Dallin thinks he's doing okay with this right now. Abbie's easy to talk to, seems like she might be even more of a kindred spirit than he'd expected.

"It's a date," he echoes, certainly not having expected to say those words today, even meant in a friendly platonic sort of way. "I don't think wine would be appropriate, but there's half a thing of iced tea in the lounge fridge, you know, for atmosphere..." Maybe he should quit with that joke while he's ahead.

[thislastrequest]

Honestly, she didn't really expect this when she'd taken the opportunity to escape from Jason's amorous advances. But ... she's enjoying herself. Abbie's never really been the shy, retiring type, not when she had the older Paul and the younger Tyler as partners in crime. "Oh, are there?", she asks, eyes bright and amused. "Is that a promise, or is that a threat? Damn, I knew I shouldn't have exposed my Kryptonite too early."

Maybe she flushes just a bit, but she can't help thinking about a real, actual date, and she hasn't been on one in ... an embarrassingly long time, and she knows, logically, that this is just gentle teasing from two people that are only just beginning to know each other, but ... it could be fun. Maybe. Possibly. "Save the wine for an off-campus encounter."

[dontjudgeabook]

"An--yeah, I'll keep a bottle in reserve." Dallin is not prone to stammering or sounding taken-aback, but the possible implication that there might be an off-campus encounter is enough to do it. She could just be continuing the joke, and he will convince himself of that in short order, but he can still entertain the idea and take note of that blush of hers, and wonder if it's worth trying to make her do that some more in future.

"Syllables are your Kryptonite, huh? Is it just a matter of quantity? Because I could always just read the dictionary. Start with 'antidisestablishmentarianism.' What's the nature of this--" He would say 'syllable fetish,' if it didn't feel too dirty. "--appreciation?" He is curious.

[thislastrequest]

It's ... absolutely ridiculous that she takes such great pleasure in how obviously she's flustering him, isn't it? Still, though, she can't help it, nor the pleased little glint in her eyes, despite the color in her cheeks. And it might be a fairly nice day, but it's still a bit cool, so at least she can blame teh weather for the new color if asked. Not that she thinks that he's going to.

It could be fun if he did continue the game of trying to get her to blush, though.

He would have to ask that. It's certainly a good way to cause her to flush all the deeper. "I ... I suppose I've always loved words. I didn't really ... appreciate them properly until a few years ago. I - I had a boyfriend. He liked to try to fluster me by whispering the most random words in my ear - you'd be surprised what sorts of words can sound sexy if offered in certain tones of voice. I don't know - that's ... it's stupid, I know."

[dontjudgeabook]

Not ridiculous if it's mutual, which it is. He'll be a gentleman and won't ask about the flush if she doesn't, though, and then they'll be even--well, at least until she explains herself. That's one heck of a mental image for a guy who thinks the word 'fetish' is much too racy for polite company.

"Not stupid," he says, because he can certainly understand the appeal, particularly if he imagines the reverse of that situation. "Voices can be...a thing." Hers is rather musical. "I guess you'd have to be lucky enough to have the right kind of one. Nothing in the world is going to be sexy if you sound like Steve Urkel."

[thislastrequest]

Another time, maybe, once they begin considering themselves friends rather than simply just co-workers. And maybe there is a better time than now to divulge such information - it's not like there are students around to hear things that they don't need to hear, but still, it's probably a better idea to stay as professional as possible while on school grounds.

Still, she's amused by the way that Dallin says thing, and she's even more amused by the thought of trying to have any sort of sexy conversation with a man that sounded like Steve Urkel, and it's just so ridiculous that she can't help but laugh. "He definitely wasn't ... nasal. It was ... nice. We had fun while it lasted."

[dontjudgeabook]

It's more fun than small talk, anyway, and in a way, good to know. And voices are a thing, particularly for Dallin, who likes listening to people talk, and who is luckily blessed with a voice that sounds nothing like Urkel.

"I don't know if I can top that, but I did go out with this girl once who was really into a capella singing. Just--always. She didn't need an excuse. And she was part of one of those groups that do Mormon-themed parodies of pop music, so she always wanted to run the lyrics by me first and I had to pretend they were good..."

[thislastrequest]

Small talk could be amusing in its own way, but this sort of gentle teasing, and sharing of some secrets that might not have come out until much later, if at all. For Abbie, too, voices are a thing, and she very much enjoys Dallin's - well. Now that he's actually talking to her.

So Abbie might snicker a bit under her breath, but it's not meant in any sort of a disrespectful way. It would've been ... interesting enough to deal with someone singing around the house, but ... Mormon-themed parodies? "Except ... they were terrible?"

[dontjudgeabook]

"So terrible. Just...so bad. You haven't lived until you've heard Lady Gaga lyrics rewritten to be about saving yourself for marriage." He doesn't think she's being disrespectful at all; he's just pleased to be able to make her laugh.

"It could've been worse, I'm sure."

[thislastrequest]

"Maybe I don't have the brainpower to be very creative at the moment, but all I'm coming up with is Born to Pray." Abbie chuckles, ducking her head, seemingly hiding behind the thick curtain of her hair as it fell over her face. "I hope that isn't very insensitive of me. I mean, you said Mormon-themed Lady Gaga songs, and I can't help where my mind takes me."

[dontjudgeabook]

That's bad enough to be good, and gets a dorky laugh out of him, after which he leans his chin on his hand to cover his mouth.

"Actually, she didn't even bother to change the title of Bad Romance. But that was my idea, to leave it as is, so I can't call it lazy." He grins, a little sheepish about the fact that he was that involved.

"You don't have to worry about being insensitive. I'm not going to get offended or anything. I'm just a jack Mormon. Like...a lapsed Catholic." Religion's probably still a heavy topic to bring up in a first real conversation, though, and he thinks maybe he should reconsider. "Not that I have anything against the Church. Any Church. You know."

[thislastrequest]

That laugh is not so dorky to make Abbie second-guess continuing on with the conversation. She's going to have a tough time getting up and making her way back to her office once lunch comes to an end, she's sure, because she is actually having a lot of fun, which she wasn't expecting.

She laughs all the harder at the admittance, the sound dying into a soft groan before she's able to speak again. "Not Bad Romance! That's my favorite Gaga song. And you can bet that I'm going to hold you at least somewhat responsible, too."

Here, she nods emphatically. While she likes to think that her prayers are heard, she doesn't think that she needs to be a member of a church in order to share them. "Good to know. I really would hate to offend you, accidentally or otherwise. It's nice to know that I don't really have to worry about that."

[dontjudgeabook]

"It wasn't my fault! I couldn't stop her; all I could do was mitigate the damage. I got her to leave Poker Face alone--does that not mean anything?"

Laughter is contagious, and he'll be in a good mood for the rest of the day after this--maybe he'll even move that fifth-period pop quiz to tomorrow and give his class warning so they can study. And he finds it really nice, really respectable, how concerned she is with making sure she doesn't trample on any beliefs--not everyone is so considerate. "Yeah, don't worry at all. It's all good. Just let me know if I--you know--say anything off-color either?"

[thislastrequest]

"It would if that were one of my favorites. It's bad enough that she tampered with Bad Romance, I'm not sure I want to know what else she changed!" She laughs again, shaking her head, and then she continues. "But then again, I am kind of morbidly curious to hear more, so."

That makes two of them, then. And it's not like she's got classes to teach, or quizzes to give out, but if anyone comes to see her during the course of the afternoon, it will be very clear to see how amused she is. When she gets home, she might even text her closest friend - her younger brother - to tell him what's happened this afternoon.

"You won't. I'm pretty hard to offend, actually. It'll take a lot more than an off-color joke to do it."

[dontjudgeabook]

"I can do you one better and find it on Youtube for you, if you let me know where to email the link."

He does feel a momentary twinge of guilt for actually showing Caitlin's song to someone to make fun of it, but Dallin can be more mean-spirited than he intends to be when trying to bond with people. And anyway, it's not like his ex is ever going to know.

[thislastrequest]

If it's good, then there will be no making fun. And if it's bad, there might be some making fun, but not in any sort of mean-spirited way. Abbie doesn't have it in her to be deliberately awful. It just sounds funny, that's all, Mormon pop parodies.

There were, of course, worse things out there, more harmful things. She just wants to see and hear this medley for herself.

"School e-mail would work. It's AdotJansen, and you know the rest."